Narcissistic Personality Disorder and sex
The sexual relationship with the narcissist is most peculiar.
Narcissists are exhibitionists and sex is just one further means of
being admired to her or him. There does not exist intimacy and you will
frequently feel used. The narcissist will demand that you subdue
yourself. Your own sexual preferences will be boycotted or twisted.
Narcissists have a strong tendency to sexually abuse a partner and
children. Here is a list of some of these abusive behaviors:
- You are prohibited from masturbating or feel
good about your own body under the threat of punishment
- You are being made to watch porn although you don't want to
- You are not allowed any sexual gratification yourself
- The narcissist pretends to be sexual for you but is after her/his
- Your sexual past is being torn apart
- You are being told that all you want is sex (although you know
this is not the case, however sex is central to the narcissist)
- The narcissist instigates sex (like telling you erotic things and
sending you pictures or emails which are sexual) but then decides last
minute that nothing is to take place or simply demands abusive sex
- The narcissist abuses you while you are asleep (sleep rape)
- You are being raped on a daily basis
- You are feeling humiliated and yet the narcissist claims that
(s)he has been humiliated
- The narcissist finds it funny when you get hurt and enjoys it when
you get hurt, this can be physically or emotionally
- The narcissist instigates and turns everything into a sexual game
- The narcissist demands prolonged sex way above the limit you can
handle nor want to
- The narcissist tells you that you want to have sexual relations
with everybody although the narcissist has a strong tendency to flirt
with others and to be infidel
- You are being told off for the fact that you were flirting with
someone although you are not flirting at all
- The narcissist makes fun of your sexuality in front of others
(e.g. you have a small penis or small breasts)
- The narcissist demands sex when you make it clear that you don't
- The narcissist has to try out everything possible
- The narcissist is an exhibitionist and will want sex in public
and dresses inappropriately at home and or elsewhere
There is another form of sexual abuse. In fact, so I believe, it is the most common one, and hence
it took me so long to get it. This form of abuse comes in four stages:
- Firstly, the victim will be forced to reveal her or his sexual preferences and experiences to the perpetrator.
- Secondly, the perpetrator will condition the victim to direct her or his entire sexuality towards the
perpetrator. At this stage, the sexual relationship is intense.
- Thirdly, the perpetrator reduces the intensity of the sexual relationship dramatically, so that the victim is
in constant sexual need.
- Fourthy, the perpetrator grants inproper sexual gratification in order to maintain the sexual need of the victim.
Now, the victim, who is (sexually) dependent on the perpetrator, can be humiliated, manipulated and used.
Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl
Group of Composers © 2006